He Once Was Mine

Once, he was mine. My constant companion. We did everything together. Time passes though, and we grow, change. I’ve gotten taller, larger. He doesn’t fit the crook of my arm like he once did. My hands no longer the right size to hold his on a journey. My interests broadened and on a shelf he sat. He too has changed. Now sun faded and careworn. The only pockets he has left are mere suggestions of stitching. His eyes are still bright, his smile constant, and hey he’s still got his nose which is a wonder. I’m not sure when he came into my life, I’m sure my mother does and will tell me, at least once.

But he is no longer mine. To his present caretaker it is inconceivable that he ever was. When the fact is suggested I am meant with such a look of amazement it is comedic. The look that encompasses so many things from wonder, to incredulity, to horror at such a blasphemous thought. I know that I never mourned his loss, I simply moved on without him. My mother kept him safe all these years and when E was born it was as if he was just waiting for his revival.

“Emmet, you know Teddy used to be Daddy’s Sunny Bear”

“NO! Teddy is mine!”

I had always planned on passing him on. Just not so soon as he is not the robust companion he once was. Life and circumstances, however, dictated otherwise. So Emmet received this small inheritance after the age of two. Like me before him they are inseparable. Teddy has now been on an international flight, a subway and bus, has a few new stains, but still has a nose! He has found a voice again something he somehow lost when was seven or eight. I don’t recall when it happened but I know at some point he stopped talking to me. It is wonderful to see him talking again and having new adventures even if I’m only on the periphery of them. I sometimes am involved in the latest escapade, but I always feel as though its through a filter. I only get half the conversation, and there have definitely been some knowing looks and inside jokes that only Teddy and E are privy to.

There have been additions to his circle, the wife’s Curious George, and the new only his Boris the winter bear. Teddy’s denim is getting to be decidedly more gray then blue, his fur may not be as soft as it once was, but his smile is still ever present, and his capacity for unlocking the imagination of a small boy is still boundless. I have watched Teddy recently be a pirate, a cowboy, a race car driver, and his latest duty of all night sentinel against monsters (which is a VERY important job).

He would never fetch an amazing estimate on Antiques Roadshow, but for E, and myself there is no better family heirloom at the moment.SAM_0051


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6 responses to “He Once Was Mine”

  1. seeingdeep1 says :

    Really nice writing – flows very well.


  2. amforte66 says :

    I love this post! It’s great how you started with teddy belonging to you and then moving on to become your son’s loving companion. Very descriptive and interesting! 🙂


  3. Johanna Jarret Deslauriers says :

    So really like this one !!


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