The Secret Life Of E’s

There is a place where time is suspended. Where nothing and everything happens. Two hours a day, five days a week at eight thirty in the morning this memory hole opens. It closes abruptly at ten thirty. Nothing that happens will be discussed. No information will leave the venue. It is a data black hole. There are smiles upon entry and exit, but was the experience joyful? One can only assume that it is. Whenever pumped for details there is vague response, ephemeral even….”We’ll talk about it later”. Although later never seems to happen.


Every so often hints and suggestions of cognitive impressions will surface. Two lines of a song never heard before, a reference to an unknown person, but that is all. It usually goes a little something like this.


Doors slowly open to reveal a line of identically dressed tiny people. As parents and caregivers are recognized undersized legs leap off the step, shoes are retrieved from the rack and the conversation begins…


“Hey buddy, did you have a good day at school?”


”What did you learn today?”


“Well what did you do?”

“We didn’t do anything”


I, for one, do not believe this. And it can be proven in the fact that I was yesterday told all about Mars and Saturn being red and having rings respectively. A song about a train station in the morning that I have never heard before. The mention of a Nigel and Nathan, that one can only assume are classmates. And the big slip up last week. We were putting the crayons away before heading out to the market.


“Daddy you have to roll up your mat before you get in line to go out the door”

“Oh really buddy? I don’t have a mat”

“Then Miss Shara won’t let you line up”

“Is that your teachers name?”


Blank stare. The iron clad rules of Fight Club, I mean preschool, have been firmly reinstated. It is amazing how separate he tries to keep school life from the rest of his day. When asked why Mommy and Daddy aren’t allowed to know what happens at school, his logic is unbelievably solid… least if you are three.


“Daddy, learning school is for people who are little and three. You are big and not three so you don’t learning school. Its for me, not you.”


I see work in the Intelligence field in his future. I may have clearance, but I apparently do not have the all important Need to Know. Have fun running the SCIF little man, its perfect for you since you have a complexion that doesn’t lend itself to direct sunlight anyway.


(Acronym Deciphering SCIF – Secret Compartmented Information Facility, large secure facility where Top Secret and highly sensitive information is kept. One must have proper clearance and need to know to access any material. You can have all the clearance in the world but if your work doesn’t relate you don’t have access to just anything and everything)


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